The Tortoise Protocol for Strength Training

Back in grade school they used to tell us this story of the tortoise and the hare. I assume you know it—you can look it up otherwise. I could have recited the story to you from heart, but I never got it, not until I was on the verge of middle age and looked back at a long list of projects I had started with great enthusiasm and great investment of time, and sometimes sustained for a while, but let drop eventually.

Now more than ever we live in a society of hares. The only gratification is immediate gratification. The 160-year-old technology of Morse code is faster than text messaging (do a search on Morse code vs text messaging for a demonstration), but nobody does Morse code any more, because it takes time and effort to master (what a wild concept, huh?).

Yes, I know, I'm just an old curmudgeon.

When it comes to pursuing an exercise program, there's another way the hare can get tripped up besides mere laziness or distraction, and that's by getting injured. The more enthusiasm the hare starts out with, the more likely this is to happen. An injury can set you back weeks or even years while you wait for it to heal. I myself first got seriously into weight training during a time that I had to give up running because of a foot injury. Since then, I've had my share of injuries from weight training. This is due to the following inconvenient fact of nature:

Your own muscles can exert enough force to damage your own joints.

This is as good an argument as I know against the theory of intelligent design. There is also the related glass-half-full principle:

Your joints can adapt to increasing load, but maybe not as fast as your muscles.

The Tortoise Protocol is a system I developed to make strength gains while minimizing the possibility of injury. Now, pay attention: I make

NO GUARANTEES

as to what will happen to you if you try this. However, I can report, based on my unscientific sample size of one, that I have used this approach to avoid injury while making strength gains (which is a nontrivial matter for someone, like myself, who has been weight training for over ten years)—not in some dramatic overnight transformation, but not at some painfully slow incremental rate, either. (The Japanese have the perfect expression dondon which refers to modest, but measured, steady progress [not to be confused with dandan, which means gradual]. )

Trust me, two years from now you won't care whether you made your gains in three months or six months or nine months. You'll care whether you were able to sustain the gains that you did make.

This system was heavily influenced by Bill Phillips' Body for Life method, which I have used in the past, and which I recommend you check out. The Tortoise Protocol is a little simpler, more detailed, and harder to get injured with.

Here's what I'm going to explain: How many sets to do, how many reps on each set, how to decide how much weight to use on each set, how long to rest between sets, how to decide when to increase the weight and by how much, how long a workout should be, how often to work out.

Here's what I'm not going to explain: what exercises to do (beyond some general principles—there are a hundred books and other resources out there for that) and what to do with your diet (which is very important—but there are even more resources for that).

In the following I want you to picture a dial in your head showing your effort level on a given exercise on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the legitimate utmost that you can put forth. This is approximate, but there are other elements of the system that will help you pin it down.

THE METHOD

For each exercise you do six consecutive sets. We'll number these I through VI, and discuss them in order.

Set I: 10 reps. Choose a weight that lets you complete the whole set with a perceived effort level of about 5. Essentially this should amount to a mild warm-up.

Set II: 9 reps. Increase the weight 10% to 20% from Set I. The exact increase is likely to be dictated by circumstances. For example, suppose you completed Set I of whatever exercise with a dumbbell that weighs 70 pounds. 10% increase from 70 pounds is 77 pounds. 20% increase from 70 pounds is 84 pounds. Most likely your gym has neither a 77-pound dumbbell nor an 84-pound dumbbell, but perhaps it does have an 80-pound dumbbell—and that's the one you'll use. The same principle applies elsewhere when we talk about 10% to 20% increases or decreases.

Target perceived effort level for this set is 6.

Set III: 8 reps. Increase the weight 10% to 20% from Set II. Target perceived effort level for this set is 7.

Note well: this is the maximum weight you are going to use for this exercise, and you should be able to complete 8 reps with an effort level of 7 out of 10. In some special circumstances (described below) you might push the effort level to 8 or 8.5 but no more at this point. We are not talking go-for-broke, eyeball-bulging, vein-popping effort here.

Set IV: 12 reps. Reduce the weight to what it was for Set II and aim for a perceived effort level of 8.

Set V: 16 reps. Reduce the weight to what it was for Set I and aim for a perceived effort level of 9.

Set VI: 20 reps. Reduce the weight 10% to 20% from Set V and aim for a perceived effort level of 10. This is the time to go all-out. Ideally toward the end of Set VI and possibly Set V you should be feeling some serious burn.

I like this combination because it saves the strongest effort for the lightest weight, which minimizes your chance of injuring your joints; the high number of reps helps develop stamina, while still not neglecting some heavier weights for strength.

The "perceived effort level" is an approximate guideline. The pattern of increasing and decreasing weight provides a more precise guideline.

SOME OTHER TIPS

1. Aim for a one-minute rest between sets of the same exercise—but if you need a little longer to catch your breath, that's OK. The point is that muscle strength should be the limiting factor rather than wind.

2. Aim for a two-minute rest between one exercise and the next—but ditto ditto.

3. Total time for one exercise is therefore 8 to 10 minutes. Four or five different exercises chosen to work different muscle groups make for a respectable workout. I typically intersperse a couple of one-off sets like crunches, so my total workout time is about an hour.

4. Two or maybe three strength workouts per week suffices. On other days I run or mix it up with a different exercise. I have tried more frequent strength training but in this case more is not more—I found I could make faster progress with two days of rest (one, at least) between strength workouts.

5. If you never fail, you're not aiming high enough. If you find you are able to complete all six sets without undue strain, or even if you can reliably complete all reps of all sets for a given exercise, it's time to up the weight. Increase the weight for Set I (and therefore all the following sets) by the smallest increment your equipment allows.

Now one of two things will happen. Either you can complete all reps of all sets at the higher weight, or not. In the first case, great. Stay at this level for a few workouts and then increase the weight again. The second case—you can't complete all reps at all levels—is also fine. In this case, stay at the higher weight and make it your goal to successfully complete all reps of all sets. You might be working at a higher perceived effort level, but don't push too hard on Sets III and IV.

Once you manage to complete all sets at the higher level, you will know that you have become stronger.

6. When first starting out, use a weight level low enough to complete all sets with no sweat. Focus on getting the routine down, and then incrementally increase the weight level according to the guidelines in #5.

I think that's pretty much it. Any questions, ask me in the comments.

Veni, Vidi...

...and then, well, I returned home. But it was a good week in Rome. I had arranged this trip some time ago—it just coincidentally happened to be the same week that Pope Francis was elected. This made for an awkward plane trip back to the USA, as I was sitting next to a priest. Guessing what was on his mind, I tried to cheer him up, telling him that maybe he'd be elected next time.

Anyway, here are some random views of the city. Click on any for a larger view.

This is my Zen view of the Fountain of Trevi, where you don't actually see the fountain, but rather the throng of tourists around it.

I burst out laughing when I saw this corridor, because it sums up the insane surfeit which is the Vatican museum. Statues next to statues, on top of other statues....

This was one of my favorite statues from the Vatican museum. The Cynocephali "dog-headed people" were a mythical race, but also the real name of a group against which the Romans fought. Maybe they were really ugly.

Whatever criticisms you might have of the Vatican, they are certainly not ones to waste valuable ceiling space. What do you have on your ceiling?

I also enjoyed this tapestry, which shows Jesus eating the dismembered carcass of some mysterious animal.

Bernini's colonnade of Saint Peter's Basilica is surmounted by larger-than life statues of saints. Every one is in an exaggerated drama-queen rapturous pose.

I just had to take a picture of this tree on the Palatine hill. I mean look at it—it's goddamn perfect.

In a city where you find statues of naked people on almost every street corner, the Fountain of the Naiads shows a particular sensuality.

Next time I hear some one going on about his "Beemer", I'm going to picture one of these babies. Italians would no doubt be shocked and appalled at the bloated vehicles in the U.S. For that matter, so am I.

The "Altar of the Fatherland" was completed in 1925 to honor the first king of unified Italy. I hear a lot of Romans dislike it for it's sheer whiteness and excess of ornamentation and bad taste. We have a name for such people in the USA: "haters of fun."

 

And finally, a contemporary update on the naked-people motif: a "No Parking" sign.

American Graffiti: the Unofficial Commentary

If you've seen this movie already, maybe this post will stimulate you to watch it again. If you haven't, perhaps you will seek it out (although be warned—this post is rife with spoilers).

I've lost track of how many times I've seen American Graffiti. The first time I saw it I liked it, but I had no idea it would eventually become one of my favorite films. In my book it is George Lucas's best work—way better than Star Wars, whether new-and-improved or not (and I like Star Wars).

In some ways American Graffiti is the opposite of Star Wars. Star Wars is epic and fantastic. American Graffiti is modest and unassuming. It is fiction, but George Lucas could claim "Everything in this movie happened to me exactly as you see it," and none would doubt it Maybe this is part of the reason I can watch it again and again—no straining to suspend disbelief.

The time is 1962—we'll come back to the significance of this. The setting is Anytown, USA (never explicitly named). The events of the story take place over the span of a single night, and revolve around four characters (all on the cusp of adulthood, more or less):

Steve Bolander: the all-American boy (played by Ron Howard, very familiar to those of us who grew up watching the Andy Griffith Show. Come to think of it, Ron Howard will always be the all-American boy).

Curt Henderson: probably Steve's best friend. His wise-cracking nature is traditionally associated with the Hollywood sidekick type. (Steve and Curt are set to leave for college on the morrow—but will they? This is about as intense as the movie gets when it comes to suspense.)

Terry Fields: still in high school, also known as "Toad"—you might call him a nerd, although I have a feeling he doesn't do well enough in school to qualify.

John Milner: Not a bad guy, really, but you wouldn't want your daughter dating him. We gather that he graduated from high school—or left it at any rate—a few years ago, but continues to spend his time doing the same things—fixing and racing cars.

The story revolves around these four (male) characters—this is clear—but each has a prominent female counterpart.

Laurie Henderson is Steve's girlfriend (and Curt's sister). She has another year of high school to go. How Steve and Laurie will handle their impending separation is one of the film's main issues.

Debbie Dunham gets picked up by Terry and spends the rest of the evening and night running around with him. She apparently goes to a different school, with somewhat different customs as regard bleaching of hair and male-female interactions. This proves to be a mixed blessing for Terry.

Carol gets picked up by John—a little too hastily, as he fails to notice she is only about fourteen years old. He would like nothing more than to send her home, but she refuses to go without seeing a good time first.

And, finally—the blonde in the white T-bird is Curt's opposite number. We never learn her name. Curt catches a glimpse of her at a stoplight—she appears to mouth the words "I love you"—and then tries vainly to track her down for the rest of the night.

It makes me wonder whether Lucas was familiar with the works of James Branch Cabell, because the blonde in the white T-bird is a perfect embodiment of Cabell's character Ettarre—an ageless female ideal whom all men long after but none can attain. We catch glimpses of the T-bird several times through the story, but never get another good look at the blonde—although we do hear her voice near the end of the story. Other characters offer contradictory explanations of who she is. One might almost question whether she is real or a dream (although the movie doesn't suggest she is anything but very hard to track down).

Let's consider the time period of the story. 1962 was effectively if not mathematically the end of the relatively peaceful and prosperous 50's. There's even a reference to President Kennedy. The characters' world is about to face upheaval, but they don't know that.

Except—I like to think that John Milner, supposedly the least intellectual of the four main characters, seems to intuit that in some sense their days are numbered. First there's a bit of byplay between John and Curt at the drive-in, where Curt laments how the town's strip has fallen from its glory days.

And then later, there's a moment when John pulls out of the garage. John is king of the town's hotrodders and he removes the header plugs from his car in preparation to race the newest challenger (played by a young unknown named Harrison Ford):


Attendant: Expectin' some action?

John: Yeah. Think so. There's some punk lookin' for me.

Attendant: Why the hell do they bother? You've been number one as long as I can remember.

John: Yeah... it's been a long time, ain't it?


You need to see it to see what I'm talking about (and even then you might not see what I see) but for me It's been a long time carries an overtone of change in the wind.

And then finally, almost at the end of the movie, John is distraught after the forementioned race takes place:


Terry: No, you creamed him, from right off the line. The guy never had a chance.

John: Shit, Toad. The man had me. He was beating me.

Terry: John, I don't know what you're talking about. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. That guy, he might as well get a wheelchair and roll himself home. Man, you got... you got the bitchinist car in the Valley. You'll always be number one, John. You're the greatest.

John: Okay, Toad. We'll take 'em all.


But it's clear that John is unpersuaded. In his heart he knows that his era is coming to an end.

A very creative touch is the treatment of music. The soundtrack almost never stops, one 50's hit after another. We hear characters listening to the radio, but the music carries on even when we cut away to another scene. Sometimes it fades in and out, but essentially it pervades the story from beginning to end. You get the idea that this was the soundtrack of their lives. Only at a couple of moments of special tension does the music cut out and we hear only sound effects.

Also a tour de force whose value lies in not calling attention to itself is the lighting and photography. Movies of a certain era are recognizable by the fact that any environment—a cave, a dungeon—is brightly lit by multiple artificial light sources. Most of the action in American Graffiti takes place outdoors at night, and everything looks quite natural. Artificial lighting was used, but carefully and subtly disguised.

For a movie made on a shoestring budget, American Graffiti is remarkably rich in secondary characters—way too many to list them all, but I have some favorites. Special status is given to the Wolfman, the local DJ. Throughout the movie we hear him on the radio, introducing songs and making prank calls. Clearly he is a local hero. Like the blonde in the T-bird, he is the subject of contradictory and preposterous stories about his amazing lifestyle. And so it is that when he finally appears on screen near the end of the story, his words carry oracular significance (and are sound advice).

I also have a soft spot for the Pharaohs, a gang of toughs who make Curt an unwilling companion for much of the evening. That Lucas himself went through a "hood" phase is clear from his affectionate treatment of the Pharaohs. Although not above jimmying open a pinball machine to empty it of quarters, they can be sticklers on other issues. For example, here's the leader Joe explaining to Curt why the gang must mete out to him some unspecified but ominous punishment, for scratching the hood of another gang member's car:


Joe: Here—bend down, look here. See that? Right across there—see?

Curt: I guess so—yeah.

Joe: You scratched it, man. Where do you get off sitting on Gil's car, huh, man?

Curt (buffing with his sleeve): I'm sorry. It's not much of a scratch. I don't think he'll even—

Joe: It ain't the size that's in question here. It's the principle.

I can never hear anyone say "It's the principle" without flashing back to Joe and Curt.

The final shot of the movie is a plane disappearing into a featureless blue sky. I always feel a perfect sense of closure when I see it. And then we see four vignettes describing the destiny of the four main characters (some say this is where the device originated). Sure enough, some of them are touched by the turmoil to come.

Blind Spot Alert of the Day

Photo by Al_HikesAZ

I see this study reports that people who undertake moderate exercise for two weeks show improved body image, even though there is no measurable change of body shape or weight. This is not the first time researchers have attempted to expose the futility of those poor, deluded exercise fanatics.

Of course the first and most dramatic effect of exercise—often noticeable within a couple of days—is an increase in strength, stamina, and generally the perceived ease of the workout. (Frequently there is an initial burst of improvement, followed by slow and uneven improvement thereafter.) This would seem sufficient grounds for feeling better about one's body, no matter who might come by with scale and tape measure to helpfully point out that you are just as fat as ever.

Mnemonics for Cantonese pronunciation

Over at the language ninja blog, Stefan has adapted my Mandarin mnemonic system to Cantonese pronunciation.  Actually, "adapted" is an understatement, since he did some significant reconfiguring to optimize the system for Cantonese. He kindly gives me too much credit for my few suggestions. Actually, you can follow our conversation on the development of the Cantonese system in the comments here (starting with January 16, 2013).

Report from Nassau

Click on any of these photos for a larger version...

Seeking refuge from the December chill for a few days. This place is well worth the visit. Bahamians are very friendly—several times a day I was greeted by passing strangers on the street. Interesting fact: the Bahamas have the third largest per-capita income in the Americas, after the USA and Canada.

If you come here, be prepared to enjoy one other aspect of the Bahamian character. I had a general feeling that many things are improvised—even the most routine of daily tasks. We've eaten three breakfasts so far in the hotel and the procedure changed from day to day.

If you've seen Thunderball, you probably recall a tense foot-chase set against the backdrop of the local Junkanoo festival. This festival has the damnedest scheduling of any event I've heard of. It starts at 2:30 in the morning and runs until 12:30 the following afternoon.

And now, for the part of the festival they never show in the movies...

...the aftermath. Exhausted revelers stagger through the streets, dragging their busted costumes, like some kind of ostrich-plume-and-papier-maché zombie apocalypse.

And speaking of James Bond...

...herewith a panorama of the back lawn of the One and Only Ocean Club, which figures prominently as a location in Casino Royale. If you look really carefully in the distance of one shot, you might see:

... the "Cloister", which overlooks the bay and is a popular site for weddings.

A touristy activity which I recommend, the misnamed "glass-bottomed boat":

As you can see, it is more of a "glass-walled" boat. The entirety of the windows you see are below water level.

And finally, proof that Bahamians have a sense of humor. First, read the plaque describing the "Royal Victoria Gardens":

And now check out the "gardens":